Scales of Justice

And that's all he wrote

I'm going to try very, very hard to resist the urge to go back and edit this for completeness. I hope to preserve this as is for a long time for reference and stealing for future campaigns (and maybe even one day… a return?)

Until then, I leave you with two things: first, Danny (Knolan)'s sketch of the party which will be updated as he completes more of it, and a list of all the humorous quotes we wrote down. Enjoy.




    * "Bacon!" in response to the question about what heals wolves
    * "It's an Owlbear; it's only attracted to death."
    * "The One-Eyed Dog Inn."
    * "Tree orcs are delicious!"
    * "McKrogles. Ba dab a da ba!"
    * "The former keeper of the Red Dragon's name translates to 'He who is supposed to be cooked.' "
    * "Put it in my chest!" –Dulin
    * "I really want to f* the Gelatinous Cube…"
    *  "Did you forget your character's paralyzing fear of gelatinous cubes?"
    * "Eye-ray of Opportunity"
    * "It's the wang of returning."
    * "George Forman Portable Forge."
    * "Alright, everyone can flirt!" – Dave
    * (nerd voice) "To the Player's Handbook!"
    * "Gentleman Warlock- dark magics in one hand, brandy snifter in the other"
    * "Sleeping, Sliding, Ceridan…" – Josh
    * "I'm well aware of your pushing & dragging statistics." – Dave
    * "Wait, can I touch myself and then attack?"
    *  "It loves you by hitting you with its hammer-hand!"
    * "Roll a strap-on check!"
    * "Second Breakfast the dragon."
    * "Make half-dragons, not war." – Dave
    * "You're in your Inn."
    * "Monk / Fighter-pilot"
    * "No, he full-orc, he just half-brained."
    * Lopslap (danny), Dumbkof (becky), Dimsum (jacob), and Upchuk (josh) from the town Smashkroblunkzerk. The Orcs will never pick up on the fact that those are fake names.
    * "Put the whores in the table."
    * "Good thing the monks didn't study Iron Body."
    * "What could be more useful than a quadriplegic Bard?"
    * "Do the Chewbacca."
    * "Altivar Alimus Knollbutt"
    * "Josh farts blood of virgins."
    * "Warlock spell:  Why is it raining spiders?"
    *  Player: "Is she still having sex?"  DM: "Yes."
    *  "The Bronze Order is known for their tasty Bards."
    *  "Gin burps are delicious"
    *  "You're on the ground and a shark."
    *  "It's 4th Edition: more nudity, showers, and peeing."
    *  "Scales of Just-ass"
    *  "The Benevolent Hippo – or Bella Popo in Elven."
    *  "Elf + bathtub of hot water = chamomile tea"
    *  "Are you ready to….ROCKS falling on your head!" – Knolan
    *  "Snuffleuppagus the Elephant" the Druid's final animal companion.



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